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Having someone who just tore your heart out tell you all of the things they didn’t like about you is a really quick way to watch yourself shatter into even more pieces. When you hear them describe the things you did and how much those things turned them off to you, you’re left feeling dumbfounded and insecure. 

But those aren’t the only reasons why you should never ask for closure after being dumped. Here are a few more reasons you definitely need to consider.

#1 Your self-esteem will plummet into nonexistence. I mean so far into nonexistence that you may as well forget about it for a few months, because it’ll take you that long to find it again. It will be on some interstellar, across-the-universe vacation, with no plans of returning anytime soon.

When you have someone, especially someone you’re in love with, tell you all of the things they don’t like *ahem, all the things they would change* about you, you’ll really take it to heart. You’ll start thinking that you need to change yourself in order to fit what they want. 

DON’T DO THAT. You should never change who you are for someone else, because there is somebody out there who will like you just the way you are. If you change anything, then they might not have the opportunity to see who you really are, and that’s a good way to miss out on someone great.

#2 You will start comparing yourself to any other person who enters their life. Any new person whom your ex starts seeing will immediately become a research project to you. You will stalk their entire social network like you’re Sherlock Holmes, just to see what they’re like.

“Oh! She has long hair? He must’ve hated my short hair, then!” Or, “Oh! He works out all the time. She must’ve been disgusted with my stomach pudge and just didn’t want to tell me that when we broke up.” Ring a bell? These thoughts begin to creep *unhealthily* into your mind and will make you blind to all of the incredible things that you actually are. 

#3 Your anxiety will spike with anyone new. That is, you will constantly be self-conscious about all of the things your ex told you they didn’t like about you.

There’s nothing like a never-ending stream of self-doubt running a marathon in your mind when you finally try to move on and meet someone new. You will always wonder if the new person will dislike all of the same things your ex did.

This will make you very closed off, and it’ll be hard for anyone to get to know you enough to decide if they like you, making dating new people that much harder. 

#4 You may not get an honest reason. Hopefully whoever is breaking up with you has enough heart to not want to hurt your feelings too much. But this may mean that they’ll lie to you about why they want to split up.

Remember the good old line, “It’s not you, it’s me”? Yeah, you very well may receive an answer like that, and it’ll probably make you feel worse than if they were to give you a reason why they stopped caring for

Why? It leaves too much to the imagination. Your thoughts will always drift to the different possible reasons why they left. Was it because you were too clingy? Were you not good enough in bed? Or was there someone else? This unhealthy obsession with the real reason will drive you nuts.

#5 You’ll try to change their mind. When you ask for closure and they tell you why they no longer want to pursue anything with you, you’ll start to convince them that you’re different. You’ll try telling them that they’re wrong and you aren’t like that, or that you will change just for them.

This may actually work. A lot of times, people start to break up, but then when the reasons are discussed, they tell each other that they will do everything in their power to fix it. 

But this is never a good idea. You can’t change who you are, so please don’t even try. If you do, then you will no longer be happy and you’ll start to resent them for wanting you to be someone you’re not. Resentment always leads to the demise of a healthy relationship. Or, worse yet, you’ll fall back into your old ways and will get broken up with AGAIN +27676902893 The Experienced To Bring Back A Lost Lover - Online Sangoma/Traditional Doctors & Herbalist Healers - In Middletown